Wednesday 17 May 2017

We had a very good weekend runners wise with Pickamix winning nicely at Market Rasen on Friday and then Royals And Rebels dotting up at Plumpton on Sunday. We have a strike rate of 60% so far this season so long may it last!
I have spent most of the week filling in holes on my lawn that have been dug up by badgers which is really becoming quite hard work.Luckily there is a house being built down the road which I am getting quite a lot of topsoil to fill in all these holes they are digging up.I could do without it though!
We went to Royal Windsor Horse Show on Saturday which is my favourite show of the year as you see all the best show jumpers from around the world competing for big prize money..I am very friendly with one of them called Guy Williams who when I met up with him asked me if I would take a horse for him to get it fit for The Hickstead Derby.So Zac arrived on Monday and he is a monster as he is 18hh,grey and it takes about five minutes to get on him as he is so tall.But he is an absolute gentleman and I adore riding him so we must do some work with him and get him ready for his big day
We only have five horses left in and hope to run Gowanauthat at the weekend then its Doncaster Sales next week were I am going to buy some new recruits for next season.
I accidently mixed up my Viagra with my hearing aid.Now I've got a hard of hearing on.!

Thursday 11 May 2017

We have turned a lot of horses out in the field for their holidays and the stables are even more empty than normal. The sales are coming up and l hope to buy a few more inmates for the new season which is very similar to a football club getting new players to boost their squad. Talking of which being a Newcastle United fan as l am we have not only been promoted but have also won the Championship. Our manager Rafa wants to have £100 million to strengthen the squad so as to be competitive in the Premiership which l hope he gets as we receive £200 million for going up! While l don't need quite that amount of money to strengthen my team it would be nice to have a few quid especially after the season we've had! I had a very nice Saturday night staying at Portishead with Kate and we went to a very up market night club called the Queens Shilling. It was only after being there a while that l noticed we were the only mixed couple and all the others were of the same sex. I then saw a large man with a dress on with his arms tied behind his back and a sign round his neck . At this point l told Kate that l thought it may be a good idea to leave as it was getting late! I mowed all my lawns beautifully on Friday only to see one of them completely dug up by badgers on the Sunday night. I have ordered all sorts of repellents to try and keep them out but really it's a bit late as they have done so much damage. 'Bend over and do exactly as l say,' she ordered. I shuddered as she pulled on the long rubber gloves and squeezed the thick liquid from the tube. 'OK,' she said,' This is how you do the washing up ....'

Wednesday 3 May 2017

The season finished at Sandown on Saturday and all the winners got their trophies for another year. Then yesterday the new season started which means we get one day off between seasons and l think it's crazy. In the old days we used to get June and July off and jockeys,trainers and staff could take their holidays then get ready for the new season which worked a lot better. Now everyone is under so much pressure to get winners that you cannot afford to get left behind and you find horses to run through the summer. Anyway after that moan we had our first runner of the new season yesterday in the very first race of the new season and managed to win it with American Gigolo so l was leading trainer for about half an hour! Our 25 club is going so well that l may have to start another and am thinking of calling it the Hot Tub Club. The members would have full access to my hot tub while watching the days racing and be served drinks by gorgeous women dressed in matching bikinis to that owners colours. We may even have the odd horse in the club as well! My ex once said to me'Now,which whip shall it be today?'she teased,licking her lips.'l don't know,'l said,'l just can't decide between banana and butterscotch.'